How To Minister To A Gay Friend

An increasing number of Christians have within their circle of friends someone who is struggling with homosexuality. Usually, there is a conflict, desire to help, but feelings of not knowing what to do or say. Realise that the Lord has placed you in this situation for a special reason; you do have something to share. You do not have to be a professional counsellor or come from a homosexual background to be effective. Your life can make a difference!!

It will be the quality and depth of your Christian walk, not your studied words or polished technique that will win your friend. The following thoughts should help..

YOUR FRIEND IS A WHOLE PERSON, not just a homosexual. There is more to him or her than his sexual sin. He or she has value as a person, since your friend was made in the image of God. Christ died for him or her and will continue to love him or her no matter what. This must also be your attitude. Any attempt to help your friend without this unconditional love will fail.

EXAMINE YOUR OWN BEHAVIOUR AND MOTIVES. Before you attempt to help, be certain that your relationship with Christ is firm. Ask Him to bring to mind, and to change, any areas of your own life that are inconsistent with His will. (Especially in the area of your sexuality).

FIND OUT WHETHER OR NOT YOUR FRIEND IS A CHRISTIAN. If he is not, your first priority is to introduce your friend to the Lord. Stick to the issue (not his homosexu-ality) but his or her need of God. Remember that we are all sinful and have come short of the Glory of God. The homosexual is not a special case. Homosexuality is not the biggest sin. In fact sin is sin in God’s eyes. There is no difference!

If your friend is already a Christian and is still struggling with homosexuality, ASK OR HOW HE/SHE FEES ABOUT HIM/HER SELF and his or her relationship to God. Do not limit your conversations to homosexuality. Remember your friend is a total person not just a sexual being.

As you talk. Keep in mind that homosexuality, (like other sins) is just ANOTHER EXPRESSION OF UNFULFILLED NEEDS and unresolved hurts. As these basic needs are filled and hurts resolved, homosexuality will gradually lose its power and appeal.

ESTABLISH TRUST. Be a true friend. That is your duty as a Christian. Do not play psychologist. Be yourself. Respect your friend’s confidence as you expect him or her to keep yours.

LOVE YOUR FRIEND ENOUGH TO BE HONEST WITH THEM. Do not break down on God’s standard, that homosexuality is sin. God hates sin, but loves the sinner. Do not be afraid of such loving confrontation.

As you would with any friend, SHARE TRIALS THAT YOU HAVE EXPERIENCED IN THE PAST or are going through now. Convey hope. Tell how God helps you.

REALIZE THAT YOU WILL NOT HAVE ALL THE ANSWERS. Be willing to admit your limitations. It is God who will bring about the changes, not you. You are the instrument, God is the source. If your friend becomes too dependent on you, remind him or her of this fact.

BE PATIENT. God is at work. Do not judge your friend’s progress, your own ability as a helper, or God’s ability to change us according to our own ideas of how and when things should happen. God is still in control.

If after all this, your friend rejects God’s help and yours, DO NOT BLAME YOURSELF OR BECOME DISCOURAGED, and most of all, do not lose confidence in God. Be available to your friend, love him or her, and keep them continually in your prayers.

If we can be of further service to you as you seek to help your friend, feel free to write to us for help or call us. WE ARE THERE TO HELP!! Our details are :