Right after I got married I found myself in a very dark and confusing place

Right after I got married I found myself in a very dark and confusing place

Right after I got married I found myself in a very dark and confusing place.  Going into marriage, I had my “happily ever after” romantic ideas of what marriage was supposed to look like, but when my husband started traveling for work just months after we got married, those ideas were quickly shattered.  What I didn’t know at the time, was that I was an incredibly co-dependent person.  My husband would sometimes tell me just days before he was supposed to leave that his work had decided to send him on a trip for a few days.  Well, often a few days would turn into a week or sometimes more. I hated that it was out of my control, and it made me feel crazy inside.  I began feeling angry towards my husband for leaving, as well as his job for taking him away from me.  I would often make my husband feel guilty about leaving, even though it was part of his job.  I would cry myself to sleep at night when he was gone, partly out of self pity and partly because I was scared to death of the person I felt I had become.   I had a constant struggle of wanting to cling to him when he was home, along with wanting to distance myself from him to punish him and show him how I felt every time he left.  I was so confused by my emotions and I was afraid to share them with others.  One weekend, Wynn came to our church to hold a Restoring Wholeness seminar.  One of the topics was relational idolatry, or co-dependency.  As soon as I heard his teaching, I knew that this was exactly what I had been struggling with.  Just knowing this took a huge weight off my shoulders and removed the confusion that I had been feeling for so long.  My husband continued to travel for work after that, but that was exactly what I needed in order to find healing. It forced me to look to Jesus to meet my needs, which was His job in the first place. I used the tools Wynn had given us in the seminar and over time I was able to find the freedom I so desperately wanted.  Now my husband and I have a much happier, healthier relationship and I thank Jesus so much for the freedom He has given me.