by Jason Caywood
I have been working recently on a presentation. I will give it to the graduate students that I get to serve as a campus minister. A section of this I thought would be good to share with you all. Thanks as always for reading our updates and for support the ministry of Restoring Wholeness.
We must recognize that most people who identify with the “LGBTQI+ community” have a firm notion in their minds. They believe that Christians who adhere to the Bible are not on their side. They may appreciate that we are not openly hostile to them. We who hold to the historic understanding of the Christian Faith do not advocate for legal discrimination against them. However, this does not change that the core affirmation of the Faith is not for them. We cannot ignore this perception. It strongly motivates them to distance themselves from churches and Christians.
Let us be open and honest and genuinely grieve the woundedness in ourselves and people. Let us be good listeners with everyone. We need to extend the compassion of our Lord to those he brings to us. Let us speak clearly about the hardships which are part of this life. We must also talk about how we have come to embrace them as part of being disciples of \the Lord Jesus.
“Sexual satisfaction is elusive. Life circumstances, fractured relationships, sinful
mistakes, non-sinful mistakes, physical condition, low self-confidence, anxiety, and
abuse all make finding the ‘right person’ and enjoying sex with them difficult and complicated. Few cultures throughout history have totalized the significance of sex more than the modern West. Our sexuality and the way we express it is, for many, the essence of who we are. . . . [The Christian calling does not require] renouncing all sexual activity. However, at the very least, the Christian call means renouncing a claim to sex on our own terms. Sexuality should not be just about me and what I want. It is part of our humanity intended to bring life and bless others. Despite patriarchal and dehumanizing expressions of faith, Christians have been agents and advocates of rehumanization throughout the church’s two-thousand year history. In her best expressions, the church brings life, not death. The toxic masculinity that has infected the church is a parasite on the Christian vision of sex and sexuality. Dehumanization is not Christian. Rehumanization is.” 1
First, we must acknowledge the definite pattern of socially sanctioned restrictions and punishment of those who deviated from tradition Biblical sexual norms. If this point is brought up to you in conversation, simply admit it. Listen to their complaints and the case they make about the injustice of this. Assure the person that you do not support this. You would not advocate for any social or legal repression of people based on their sexual orientation or sexual identity.
Second, we need to acknowledge and state to our friend that we have nothing morally good in ourselves to give to God; that we are not superior morally or spiritually to anyone else. Rather, we confess that we can bring only our deep-seated disorderly souls, our complicated and painful experiences, our choices and shattered relationships. We must make this clear to others who would identify themselves as part of the “LGBTQI+ community” that this applies to us who follow Christ first and foremost. Anything we might say then about the Gospel to them is only what we would say about ourselves and to “straight” people also.
Third, the Lord Jesus himself, in his Incarnation and modeling of living, is to be our
supreme example—for ourselves as we wrestle with our thoughts, desires and
experience as embodied creatures and in our relating to other people with our bodies. We must not pretend that we do not struggle in one way or another but neither can we say that there is no hope for actual life change. The hope we can offer people is that with God there is always hope because God is love. Yet this God of love is fierce! The love of God will consume all moral guilt, transform emotional wounding and brokenness into well healed scars and pursue people till the end of their lives so as to woo them to entrust themselves into the healing arms of the Almighty.
Fourth, we can affirm what we believe: As in all other aspects of human life, people can discover the meaning and significance of the gift of life by pursuing truth, beauty and goodness together. In this we can make an invitation to our friends who do not believe as we do to be honest conversation partners and true friends. This offer is not be conditioned on whether or not they believe and change their way of living. Rather this is a gift to them—and expression of the love of God. We can do this because we know that truth that God has weaved inextricably together our lives into the course of their lives, for the good of us all.
Finally, we must firmly hold to the community of believers, and with sincere openness and mutual caring for each other give to fellow believers. Being part of God’s Church is essential for individuals. It helps them find understanding of their purpose generally. It also helps them learn specifically what the Lord Jesus wants to do with them and their experiences of sexuality. We can model this communal way of living as Christ’s disciples for those whom the Lord would call out of the patterns of living embraced by “LGBTQI+” persons.
1 Non-Toxic Masculinity: Recovering Healthy Male Sexuality, pp.183.