We are not in control…
We all have been impacted from COVID in one way or another. I think a positive or take away that God has been teaching Holly and me is the greater awareness and realization that we are not in control. If we are honest, most of us would admit that we do everything in our power to create the illusion of feeling in control. This isn’t a bad thing necessarily, but this false sense of peace or control can dull our spirits to our TRUE need and dependence on the ONE who is truly in control. The realization that, “We are not in control,” confronts and goes much deeper when it hits home.
I am reminded of a scripture in Matthew when Jesus said, “Everyone who hears my teaching and applies it to his life can be compared to a WISE man who built his house on an unshakable foundation. When the rains fell and the flood came, with fierce winds beating upon his house, it stood firm because of its strong foundation. But everyone who hears my teaching and does not apply it to his life can be compared to a FOOLISH man who built his house on sand. When it rained and rained and the flood came, with wind and waves beating upon his house, it collapsed and was swept away.” Matthew 7:24-26 TPT
Isn’t that what is happening all around us? The things that we have built the foundations of our lives are being exposed. Are they made of rock or sand? Even for those of us who hold to a faith background are being confronted. For some of us, our planned routines of Sunday worship, structure and gatherings were taken away. Not only was the virus attacking our physical well beings, but the virus was also cutting to the heart and exposing all kinds of deep buried attitudes and emotions of fear, judgement, hatred, pride, and selfishness, …. Of course, the list could go on.
In my faith walk with Jesus the last 29 years, I have been reminded many times of this wonderful life-giving spiritual truth, “I am not in control”. Of course, this truth has created frustration, anger and has confronted pride. At the same time, I have allowed it to sharpen my character. It has created a deep and wonderfully intimate, dependent relationship with Christ. And yet, we live in a very vulnerable, fragile world where we are constantly being reminded of our human frailties. This tension and awareness are real.
In the beginning of August, a new level of feeling out of control hit our home. Initially we thought Holly had a severe sinus infection that was confirmed with 3 negative COVID tests. Holly was in severe pain and nothing I was doing was making it better! I watched my wife suffer with no power to change how she was feeling. I felt alone, frustrated and helpless. At day 10 of Holly not getting better and a new symptom of breathing difficulties surfaced, I made the decision to take Holly to ER. Tests confirmed COVID and bilateral pneumonia.
The very real and human emotions of fear, frustration, anger and doubt were palatable. And soon God became the focus and target of these emotions. I knew very quickly I could not harbor any toxic emotions and quickly discerned the intensity of the spiritual battle I was feeling. I am grateful for the wealth of spiritual friendships I have cultivated over the years who understand prayer. As I began reaching out to trusted others, God’s peace and comfort filled me. The truth of scripture resonated in my spirit.
In John 16:33, Jesus says, “I have told you all this so that you may have peace in me. Here on earth, you will have many trials and sorrows. But take heart, because I have overcome the world.” We are grateful for Holly’s full recovery and for the Lord’s reminder that He is walking with us. Scripture promises that God never leaves us and is a friend that can be relied upon. At the same time, if the foundation of our lives is sand and sinking, the truth and reality of this statement may be foreign. Maybe you have always been strong and now you’re struggling with intense fear and anxiety. Maybe you have lost a dear loved one? Maybe you are going through a relationship breakup? Maybe you have lost your job? The truth is that all these things in life that we lean to for strength are sinking sand. Jesus needs to be the anchor and rock of our souls! The Bible says that Jesus stands at the door of our hearts and knocks for us to let Him in. Are we listening? Is the foundation of your life built on sand or the rock of Jesus?