A Battle to Win - Anonymous (additions by WCT)
As I face my own addiction, I realize that when I grow closer to my Father in Heaven and experience his love, my needs, that I have been trying to meet through sexual fantasy and exploits, are met even more powerfully by a God who is crazy about me and wants to heal me completely.
Ps 103:4a says: "He redeems my life from the pit". I have experienced how at times God has lifted me out of the pit of despair and shame and forgiven me. He has reminded me of my place in his family and in his heart. But this morning as I looked at my life again it seemed that I was moving from one pit experience to another. Maybe you have had such feelings too. I go through a really bad patch, come through it and then before I know it, I'm back in such a bad patch that I despair of ever being healed. Well, I have had enough of it.
In the last few days God has reminded me of a number of things that have helped me have new courage to face my addiction with new energy to fight.
He reminded me of John Aldridge's statement in his book "Wild at Heart". "As men we have a battle to win". Our fight is against the Devil and his cronies. (Eph 6:12, Rev 12:17) He is bent on destroying us and our families (1 Pet 5:8). He cares nothing for us and his purpose is to ensure that your soul is destroyed, your life is a misery and your future is hell.
The picture that comes to mind is that of a fire-spewing dragon: the one from the movie "Reign of Fire". A hideous demonic face, a long lizard-like body and tail, and large bat-like wings with holes in them. All covered in grey scales and spewing fire. It's goal - to destroy whatever it can - burn everything to ash. The Devil wants to kill you and me. I don't use him as an excuse and say: "I could not help myself. The Devil made me do it".
Rather I am aware that when I am faced with a temptation, he is in the background, either having orchestrated the temptation or just very excited that I am about to fall. He has his armies doing their utmost to ensure that I will fall. Already they are gloating over my shame and lack of ability to stand up against the temptation. THIS IS WAR. They want me to fall and lose everything that is good in the process.
This is what I must fight. As I face a temptation, I need to realize that this is not about me. It is not about my needs and desire to enjoy some elicit sexual fantasy or sexual act. It is not about me saying: "I can't help it. This is too much for me to handle. I so badly want this." I need to realize the truth that Satan is attacking me right now. His goal is my destruction and shame. He hates me and couldn't care less what I do, as long as I and many people can be hurt, shamed and have their lives thrown into chaos. It is not about me and my needs. THIS IS WAR!!!
God has called me to fight and win this war. He has given me a suit of armour. For me, right now, the belt of Truth is the most important part of that armour. In this tempting situation I need to remember the truth:
- This action I want to engage in, is sin
- It will take me back into the pit of guilt, shame and despair
- This action will not meet my real need
- It may be great for the moment, but the negative consequences will ripple through my life in the form of regret and mistrust for many years
- God will not bless me if I am out of his will
- My children could well be affected because of what I do today
- Choosing this sinful path will once again delay the great things God has called me to do
- God loves me so much and wants to meet my needs with his grace and love.
- God has called me to live a holy life
- I accepted Christ as Lord to follow and obey him, no matter what
- This is the devil's move to get me to fall
- I am at war with the dark forces of this world
- This temptation is one of the battles of this war
- I can be defeated without a fight
- Or I can fight with the rest of the armour - especially the sword of the Spirit
The most powerful words are from 2 Corinthians 12:9 "My grace is sufficient for you, for my power is made perfect in weakness" God's grace will meet that need that I am tempted to meet right now through my own sinful ways. Now in my weakness God can show his power in my life as I turn to Him and simply ask him to meet my needs. I can then change my thoughts and choose to focus on constructive behaviours.
It is not always easy, but as I regularly meditate on the "truth" above and realize doing wrong will have so many negative consequences, all forms of destruction - bringing much joy to Satan and co - I find strength to run to God rather than running away from him to my own destruction.
These truths will transform my belief system, that belief system which has been corrupted by years of justification and lies - the same belief system which holds me in bondage until I let the truth set me free.
What "truth" do you need to meditate on in order to transform your beliefs - thus setting you free???